Answers to the STARR
Paul Cooijmans
Experts maganaged to decode the riddle bombardment launched by Sad-Damn'd O'shin to make our president Mr William F. Clintas' blood boil. Here the answers to this mother of all riddle exams:
1 Opposed to black is white; passed when urinating is water.
Answer: Whitewater.
2 Word meaning "male pudendum" is penis; its first
and last letters also take those positions in (answer) Paula Jones, the woman who accused the president of sexual harassment.
3 The "path of light" is ray. The paid other half
(husband) is Bill. The hilarious advocate of elegance's first name: (answer) Hillary.
4 Last five letters a connection: joint. First five mean "in
common": joint. A common place (answer): joint. One incredible puff (from a joint, incredible because didn't inhale) keeps haunting.
5 "odd man out" refers to the answer to riddle 6,
as that's the only answer not related to the president. The person who's the answer to riddle 5 conducts a mean satire, often on the president, which is why the latter finds him a jerk. His big feature (chin) is three inches lower than that of the answer to riddle 6 (nose). He is, as he says himself in the riddle, "of never ending laughter, yet a jerk" (reverse order of first letters), answer: Jay Leno.
6 Pinocchio refers to having a big nose. The author (answer)
Cyrano de Bergerac described several 20th century inventions a few hundred years ago. The novel character of the same name (with the big nose), who was a writer of satirical articles, just before he died deliriously fought imaginary opponents whom he called "The Lie", "Hypocrisy" etc.
7 US president (answer) Abraham Lincoln once said something
beginning with "Four score and seven years ago..." (= four times twenty plus seven, or eighty-seven). "Quatre-vingt-sept" is French for eighty-seven, and literally means "four times twenty plus seven".
8 The Commandmends are TEN; if you proceed (each letter by one
step in the alphabet) you get (answer) UFO. President J. Carter once reported a UFO sighting.
9 Monica Lewinsky.
10 Starr.
It is at this moment uncertain if our beloved president will
pass this demanding test and be able to continue his important work. Will William F. Clintas survive Sad-Damn'd's bloodcurdling attack? Just follow the news to find out.